Funny Ghetto Facebook Status: Most Facebook status updates have ghetto in them and are funny. These ghetto Facebook statuses also include updates on ghetto things happening to people, social commentary, and current events.
Funny Ghetto Facebook Status
- Well, at least I know the next time we hang out and then never talk for a year.
- You look like a before picture.
- If your man doesn’t open doors and shows you chivalry, slap his mama with a subpoena because he was raised by wolves.
- If men could get pregnant, abortion clinics would be like Starbucks.
- Be careful with who you trust and share your dreams. Not everyone wants to see you win.
- Had to get my groove back, When did it leave?
- “You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren’t paying attention to.” – Robin Williams
- I can’t joke because my life is one.
- So this guy walks into a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender “What’s the best kind of personal campaign?” The bartender replies, “I dunno. What?”
- When you’re so broke that you forget what it’s like to have money
- I’m not always sarcastic, sometimes I’m sleeping
- I be actin’ like I’m fine, but I’m really not so please don’t ask.
- I love it when people underestimate me. It’s like a comfortable blanket of ignorance that I can use to my advantage.
- In social media, every day is a good hair day!
- I have no idea what I’m doing, but I know I’m doing it really, really well.
- I wanna be your favorite hello, and hardest goodbye.
- When people say ‘You’ve changed’ I just tell them I grew up and they should try too.
- Life is a Puzzle and I don’t have the energy to solve it.
- I got my first B on a test today & my teacher told me if I keep studying this hard I’ll make an A.
- Dear Girls, your boyfriend still thinks it’s cute when you pay for dates, put gas in his car, and buy him Christmas gifts. Take advantage while you can. Sincerely, Broke Men.
- I need to start posting more on my Facebook so people think I have a life.
- I think I’m gonna cut my hair and be a stripper.
- …..What you mean to say is that your feelings just got hurt because I didn’t react the way you wanted me to. Get over it.
- My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships
- Sign outside a church: “Forgot your towel? Ask God. Forgot your Bible? Ask Pastor.”
- I want to be your favorite hello, and hardest goodbye.😉
- We live in a society where people refuse to believe that someone has seen all 8 Harry Potter movies, but will believe that someone reads Fifty Shades of Grey for fun.
- I don’t have time for you to grow up and be my best friend.
- Sometimes I’ll keep looking around when I’m lost at a store just so security will come get me.
- My New Year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
- People lie, numbers never do.
- My parents are like my favorite books, I can’t wait to grow up to be just like them.
- Gotta love the ghetto, and why I love it.
- *Shares corny joke on Facebook*
- Don’t make me feel stupid just because I like you.
- I want you to know I’m the reason why your phone is so slow.
- Sorry I’m late to your funeral, I was at the wrong gravesite.
- It’s crazy how people change and forget who was there for them when they needed someone the most.
- Thank you notes are hard to write. I don’t know why they call it a “thank you” note when really it should be called an apology note.
- Don’t worry about what I’m doing. Worry about why you’re worried about what I’m doing.
- I don’t always go to bed early but when I do it’s usually before 10pm.
- I’ve got nothing to do today but smile.
- I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers
- Why were they protesting at the G20 summit? Free Trade!
- If a man says he’ll fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him about it every 6 months.
- You can only shake your fist at the world for so long before you run out of energy.
- I’m not poor, I’m just broke. Cause poor is a mentality …
- Where do homeless people go for the summer vacations?… They live in houses year-round!
- I wish I could talk like a baby and get everything for free.
- When the only song you know all of the lyrics too is “Work”.
- You had me at “I’m Beyonce.”
- I think men, and women, should be able to rock whatever hairstyle their heart desires
- All i know is Vegas or bust!!
- I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day…tomorrow doesn’t look good either.
- I would give my life for you…but we both know that wouldn’t be enough.
- “I wish my wallet came with free refills.”
- I’m in my own world. You’re just a tourist.
- I ain’t afraid of jail. I hope they keep me and give me a couple of years of peace and quiet.
- I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
- My goal weight is the weight I reached after a night of drinking.
- If you can’t get a girl when you’re poor, I don’t know why you think money is going to help you.
- My girlfriend said we need to talk, I can’t wait to hear this, should be five seconds long.
- No, I won’t give you your ex’s new number. Move on.
- I got my first job when I was 9. I went door to door and asked people if they wanted to buy a poop.
- #Crazy #Justsaying
- i think i’m allergic to mornings.
- Man, I hate the look on my face when I check my bank account and see that I have NOTHING in it.
- I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them.
- You thought I was done? I’m just getting started, baby. #blessed
- Yes I would like a cheeseburger with my attitude.
- I think I’ve got enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
- I’m the type of person who walks into a chair and apologizes.
- Just to let you know, I’m not aging gracefully.
- Today is the first day of my last year of being younger than Justin Bieber.
- I’m the type of girl that puts on her better smile, her better outfit and better attitude and shows him what he left behind.
- Bae: *Don’t talk to me* Me: *Don’t text me*
- You’re single. Your friends are getting married. And you’re like, “I should really start bringing the wine to these things.”
- I may not be rich but at least I can say that my parents raised me well. Like, real well. They put me in the car and drove me to school, you know?
- If a man is talking in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
- Don’t be so hard on yourself. Nobody gets out of high school alive.
- You can tell when you’re getting old because all your friends are going gray and bald.
- *looks at outfit* I really hope this is not one of those “what I wore in the show” and “what the characters actually wore” type of shows
- Keep your enemies close and throw shade on their outfit. 😏
- You don’t know who I am.
- You can’t expect a boy to be vicious till he’s been to a good school.
- I seriously think men and women should be able to hit each other if we flirt with their significant others. Because it’s only fair.
- I made a list of the things that I like about you… and I’m gonna need more paper.
- Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed…
- Just got out of the club and got pulled over with $20,000 in my trunk. How was your day?
- Today I saw a poor man begging for money, He was holding a sign that reads: “I need money for beer”. I laughed so hard.
- I’m not cheap, I’m on a budget.
- That awkward moment when you’re Darth Vader
- I have found that it is the small things, everyday occurrences that make life so spectacular. Just saw a woman in the supermarket pull out an old pickup truck from her bag and tell the cashier she left her wallet at home. 🥗 🐮 🚙
- Ain’t no thang buta chicken wing
- I hope you have a good day today. If not, I hope you can tolerate it.
- I couldn’t afford to go on holiday, so I bought a map. Now the walls of my flat have all gone very distant.
- I told my mom I wanted to be a nurse and she said if I was serious about it, I should go for it. But if I wanted to just play around with it, then I needed to stop putting band-aids on the cat.
- ”The word of the day is legs. Let’s go back to my place and spread the word.”
- Don’t ever let a text from your bf/gf go unanswered unless you have better plans.
- There’s this kid in my class who keeps calling me “old school”.Man, I’m only 25!
- My parents be like “You ready to leave yet?” & I’m like “I just got here 5 minutes ago”
- I’m not a rapper but I’ve got a lot of cheese.
- I was gonna take over the world this morning but I overslept and missed my alarm.
- What do you call a fancy girl? Extra cheese!
- Aye, I just caught the plug sleeping LOL 😂
- Oh, so nobody is in love with me?
- One time when I was a kid I saw a chicken finger.
- What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger… But I’d rather be smarter than stronger.
- This status is ghetto, but so am I.
- Facebook should have a limit on how many times you can change your relationship status. After 3 it should default to “Unstable” or “Drama Queen”.
- My Girlfriend asked me to pass her the Chapstick and I accidentally passed her the Glue stick. She still hasn’t talked to me.
- My laptop is so lonely, it has no friends.
- You know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I love you💜
- if Beyonce has a 4 bar verse and you got a 4 bar verse that makes us cousins
- I’ve been cutting my hair lately. Next time it grows out I’ll be sure to tell you about it haha
- Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness, I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me, weak is not what you are going to remember about me.
- When you meet someone and fall in love, don’t forget that falling means that you will one day have to stand back up.
- I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box… I don’t even know where the box is!
- Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank, and he can rob the world!
- Sometimes I wish I can be a bird, so nobody can mess with my head.
