Funny Whatsapp Facebook Tweeter Status: People are always looking for funny status updates to put on their Facebook wall or Twitter feed. Heck, if you’re looking at this site then you are probably one of those people as well.
We present you with a list of funny statuses for WhatsApp, Facebook, tweeter, and your stories on Instagram. The lists have been compiled after hours of research to archive the best. I hope you enjoy this compilation.
Funny Whatsapp Facebook Tweeter Status
- I know you are faking your smile, but please keep doing it.
- Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.
- See the world. it’s more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories.
- Why don’t you tell us how you feel.
- Do you believe in love at first sight… or should I walk by again.
- I just want to hangout with my cat, drink coffee and watch Netflix.
- People who sleep late have the right idea…
- if life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
- I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
- I was always afraid of losing you, but I lost you anyway
- I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.
- Life is short, smile till you still have teeth.
- I hate when I am about to hug someone sexy and my face hits the mirror.
- I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
- Wow, this week went by fast. And I worked 5 hours in total. Life is good.
- Every now and then, we get surprised and something funny happens.
- You are like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
- When you finally block the toxic person and then see their name show up on your phone a few minutes later.
- The best thing about being me is I’m a limited edition and there are no other copies.
- I love my job only when I’m on vacation
- I’m not lazy, I’m just in my energy-saving mode.
- I can’t think of anything else to write, so here’s an inspirational quote.
- I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
- Winter is coming…
- Goooooood morning friends How’s your Day
- If you like to play games then I am working at Nintendo.
- Today’s weather forecast … Self-destruction with a 100% chance of pain.
- I wish I could Google search my brain.
- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
- Never steal. The government hates competition.
- No one has ever died from laughter
- Just gonna post the same thing all week until someone notices
- I know the voices in my head aren’t real… But sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!
- I am not lazy, I am on energy saving mode.
- I don’t have an attitude, just a personality that you can’t handle 🙂
- I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
- I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
- We met for a reason: either you’re a blessing or a lesson.
- It’s so easy to fall in love… but hard to find someone who will catch you.
- You can’t buy happiness but you can buy coffee and that’s kind of the same thing
- I’m not lazy, I’m just in my energy-saving mode.
- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
- You just can’t please some people. [Then below that] I’m not one of them.
- Wanna know a secret?
- A wise man once said nothing.
- I’m currently unsupervised. I know, it freaks me out too. But the possibilities are endless!
- There’s no “we” in fries.
- The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time is now.
- I always learn from the mistakes of others who take my advice.
- There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. – Beverly Sills
- I know I’m a handful but that’s why you have both hands.
- If you are not busy can you pause for a moment?
- I have never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful.
- “I don’t drink coffee to wake up, I wake up to drink coffee.”
- I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.
- I didn’t fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
- It’s better to try something and fail than to be scared of failure.
- I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
- Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.
- Apparently, I have an attitude and I don’t know how to cook. Gee, thanks for telling me something I already know!
- Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, “It’s dark in here isn’t it?” The other replied, “I don’t know; I can’t see.”
- A new study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
- I love when somebody insults me. That means that I don’t have to be nice anymore
- Who says money can’t buy happiness? They clearly didn’t know where to go shopping.
- I am a nobody, not everybody. I am myself. 🍂
- I’ve decided to give up drinking… at least until February 14 th. That way I’ll be sober for Valentine’s day.
- I am not lazy, I am on energy-saving mode
- I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship.
- I love when I’m told I’m wrong and then later find out I was right. 😎
- I’m not an early bird or a night owl… I’m some form of permanently exhausted pigeon.
- I changed my password to “incorrect”. So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say “Your password is incorrect.”
- Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
- My smart phone is smarter than me.
- I like hashtags because they look like waffles.
- I can’t be held responsible for what my face does when you talk.😂
- My friend asked me to help him round up his 38 cows. I said Yes, “Yes Boss.”
- I’m a limited edition 🏷
- Two wrongs don’t make a right, take your parents as an example.
- I am not lazy, I am on energy-saving mode
- Let’s go somewhere the sun will kiss our faces, where adventure runs wild in our veins and laughter is a language that we all speak.
- I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees.
- In other news, Jordan and I now have 3 kids. I’ll be referring to him as Dad from now on.
- People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
- If you love me, let me sleep.
- Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
- I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
- my life is like a hangman game. I cried when in the end it say “GAME OVER”
- I am a hot dude with a cool attitude.
- The biggest Instagram star in the world is…your dog?
- Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.
- Can I be you so I can be friends with me?
- Why do parents get so angry at us for clicking selfies all the time? I mean we’re just making memories.
- You’ve got a friend in me. -Toy Story
- I used to be a people person, but people ruined that for me.
- I have to thank my mom and dad for having me.
- I would agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.
- Tomorrow morning, I’m going to wake up and smile because it’s not Monday.
- For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened.
- I don’t care what people think of me. Mosquitoes find me attractive!
- If you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of your arm.
- Life is short, smile while you still have teeth. 😃
- I’m actually not funny. I’m just mean and people think I’m joking.
- what if I told you that you can eat without posting it on Facebook?
- To all the couples that are being forced to stay together because of quarantine
- Be yourself. The world worships the original.
- I’m jealous of my parents… I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs!
- Don’t be like the rest of them, darling.
- My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
- The road to success is always under construction. 😎
- Don’t let the bed bugs bite
- Be exceptional and bold.
- Getting frustrated is the first step toward success.
- You may be a player, but I am the game
- Don’t text me ‘good morning’, I sleep late.
- A baby is a bundle of laughter wrapped in love and tied with the knot of worry
- Every day is a fashion show, and the world is your runway.
- If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
- A relationship without trust is like a car without gas, you can stay in it all you want, but it won’t go anywhere.
- Don’t be like the rest of them, darling.
- A book-store is the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
- I’ll be Burger King and you’ll be McDonald, I’ll have it my way and you’ll be loving it.
- The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.
- I am so poor that I can’t pay attention in the class.
- Forget love… I’d rather fall in chocolate!
- Garden-variety narcissist
- If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
- I am not lazy, I am on energy saving mode,
- My face when you say I don’t look white.
